Adoption: Our story

There are so many ways to begin telling this story, the one about how God slowly penned the desire to adopt/foster on the walls of our hearts. It was not a quick decision, not one that struck us in an instant and we were forever changed. Rather it required years of asking questions, listening to other’s stories, and taking a posture of admitted ignorance.

One family member told us, “You both are certainly easily influenced” when we shared our desire to adopt, meaning that the community around us seemed to easily persuade us to take up this mantle. And my response was “Yes, yes we are, because we put ourselves in a position to be moved by the things that we wanted to have influence over us.” We have watched countless videos, read all the blogs, attended adoption conferences, and shared countless conversations both with adoptive families and adult adoptees.

Easily influenced? Perhaps, but not without a desire to be so.

And so here we are now, years after we sat on our first leather sofa, in the family room of our first house, a couple of newlyweds crying over a video of a family bringing home two children from Uganda. The seed was planted then, but it took years of watering and waiting before God said, “It’s your turn.”

Earlier this week we sat in the county office, watching videos on secure attachment and the effects of trauma on the brain. I saw my husband rub his eyes at the content of one of the videos, and I feel it too, the emotional weight that comes with being well informed. Of knowing that there are children bearing the weight of another’s pain, right in our community.

We chose to first become certified as a foster family for that very reason, because after praying through all the possible ways to bring a child into our family, starting with those in our community seemed to be the most logical. We set out with the simple desire to add one more to our family, but we are slowly feeling the grip on our plans loosening as we learn more about the system and the children in it.

There is a great need for homes that provide more then shelter. A need for homes that provide safety and stability, and most definitely love. It is becoming a no-brainer. We have those things? Let’s give them away.

I do not know what that will look like yet, who we will bring into our home or how long they will stay, but I do know that surrender is getting easier. We are becoming more comfortable with the unknown, with letting go of all the what-ifs and trusting that God will guide our steps as we seek Him.

The thing that is surprising me most is the excitement that comes with letting go, with knowing it all rests on God now. There is a thrill and a spontaneity that is building in us, as we anticipate His plan.